Je m'appelle Mini-Bus

Earlier last week our coach Stéphane decided to be so kind as to offer to leave us his car for the weekend. Now many of you are familiar with the impressively petite size of French cars and anticipating his vehicle to be something of this size, we (the American, Bulgarian and I) enthusiastically accepted his generous offer. Unbeknownst to us, Stevie is not your typical Frenchman and does not own a typical French car. He rolls deep in a Fiat Scudo aka, Le Mini-Bus.

First off, don’t be deceived by the word “mini”. Well actually, it’s probably like, the size of your typical North American minivan, but let’s ponder for a moment on the narrowness (narrowness?) of European roads where it’s not uncommon for small children to become trapped between buildings while trying to cross the street.

Knowing this, we threw caution to the wind and decided to saddle up the Mini-Bus for the first time Saturday for a trip to the grocery store. All was going well as we eased her out of our parking lot and through the labyrinth of Albi’s one-way streets, all the while folding in the side mirrors trying to avoid the other cars parked inches from our lane and the grandpa out for his morning bike ride. Turns out the downfall of our journey would come early as we approached our first of 17 roundabouts with none of the directions out of it looking at all familiar.

The butcher talking to delivery guy outside his shop looked amused as us 3 screaming foreigners sped past not once, not twice, but thrice. Actually it was 4 times around before we decided we needed to get off this ride and chose the wrong road. A couple wrong turns later, we eventually resume the proper course and make it to the store like 15 minutes before closing time.

So we buy our goods and thinking all the day’s drama was behind us, begin the return trip back to our ‘hood. Our downfall on the way home turned out to be the miniscule blue road signs affixed in size 4 font to the sides of buildings (see picture below), entirely preventing us from finding the street we needed and resulting in another 3 spins around yet a different roundabout. Shout-out to my Uncle Bruce who once set a Canadian record with 67 times around a traffic circle in Calgary. Our effort rivals his only because roundabouts are about 1/4 the size over here so we were basically flying around it at mach speed a la teacup ride at Disneyland.

A little appreciation for what we're deailng with...5 points to whoever can read this street sign.

Anyway, to make an already long story short, we made it home unscathed and thankful the Mini-Bus didn’t take anyone/anything out on the way. Unfortunately that wasn’t our last ride and today we had to take her out for another trip, this time into the city center. Basically we learned buses of any kind should not be parked underground in France, least of all by foreign people under 25. After trying fruitlessly to park in 2 different spots, we spot a good one and the American, Desma, begins what was literally an 11-point turn to get the vehicle backed into a space originally meant for a child’s wagon:

As we walked out of the parking lot, sweating profusely, I vowed that until we get cars at the end of the month I'm walking.

This is how happy the Bulgarian is about never having to ride in the Mini-Bus again...