English 101

While walking the streets of A-town, I've noticed a trend amongst French street hecklers. And before I get started, heckling probably isn't even the right term... I guess they tend to holla more... but "hollaers" doesn't really work as a word so bear with me.

So I was saying. Trends in street holla-ing. In my experience, cat calling in the streets of North America is generally reserved for those
1) under the influence and/or under age 17, or
2) construction workers.
As a general rule, you just don't see a lot of yelling being done by folks outside that demographic.

Also, those conditions together = recipe for disaster.

That said, I gotta say that those rules in no way apply over here. Once they somehow deduce you are foreign, French people of all ages and occupations get their holla on. This is mildly amusing/annoying depending on what day it is and how much sleep I've had, but what I find more curious is that what is yelled always takes one of two forms. Always. Without exception, it's either:

1) I love you
or
2) Eff you

Well alrighty then. These people are expressing either extreme adoration or extreme hate while speaking English at me, and I guess I can appreciate that. Props for covering all your bases France. And "at" was the proper word choice there because neither line is ever a segway for more "conversation"/holla-ing due to the fact that the guilty party never speaks more English than that. All I'm saying is - while I'm told that yelling obscenities can be cathartic, it sends a mixed message when done while smiling.

I'm not sure who's teaching these people their language skills but they need to get the class to brush up on chapter 8 - Street Etiquette. If you have one chance to impress a foreigner - one thing you can yell at someone passing by that you'll probably never see ever again - how about something else? I like your blouse? Which was to the train station? Heck, I'll take an unprovoked "I don't understand" if you really feel like you need to yell something, but trust me son, you don't know me well enough to love me or hate me.

These ladies express my sentiments best... If you haven't listened to TLC's 'No Scrubs' lately, go do yourself a solid favour and give 'er a listen. You'll thank me later.

Also, note to the 3 dudes that yelled at The American and I downtown last week: it doesn't help your cause when you ride by, practically piled on top of each other, sharing a scooter. S-c-o-o-t-e-r. Any and all street cred was lost the minute you decided to break dude law #42 and get that close to one another for any extended period of time. Nobody is impressed. Very amused, yes, but impressed, no.
That's all.