Good Morning Vietnam

Note: Since I’m in SE Asia, posts are about to get a little long since I actually have stuff to talk about… at least for the next 2 months. Just a little boredom disclaimer beforehand. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Also, since I’m lazy see the end for picture link.
Note: I also just like saying 'Nam.
So it’s my 4th day in Asia and I’m on a tiny boat slowly riding up the Mekong River to cross from Vietnam to Cambodia. Like literally, I’m on the river as I type this and listenin to a little Jimi Hendrix. What else would I be listening to in Asia you ask. I have about 47,586 things to say but I’ll try to keep it relatively short cause these can get boring and I’m all about the fun around here.
I’m alone for this first week while I kick it in Nam and Cambodia ‘til my sister Sarah meets me in Bangkok on Nov 4th. I flew into Saigon aka Ho Chi Minh City Wednesday night after a 25 hr trip. I actually felt relatively coherent on arrival and somehow had energy to spend like 20 minutes haggling with taxi drivers to get me to my hotel for a semi-reasonable price. Obviously they instantly know I’m not from around there so things are always at least double if not more.
The city is absolutely insane and chaotic but awesome. There are a billion motos roaming the streets causing mad noise cause everyone uses their horn every 2.2 seconds to let people know they are coming. I saw a lady carrying 2 baskets hanging on either end of a stick slung across her shoulders and wearing one of those classic Asia pointy hats (that probably have a name but I like mine) and I was like dude. I’m here.
Crossing the street is for sure the scariest thing I’ve done so far in my young life, as it basically consists of just walking out into the middle of traffic (since there is never ever any break) and just letting vehicles/motos/bikes go around you. I was about peeing my pants but saw this old lady just give ‘er and go so I figured if she could, I had to man up and do it too.
I went to Ben Tranh market the next morning and immediately got bombarded with like 20 ladies selling any and everything and trying to take me by the hand to their stall that is identical to the next 10… I’ve never been yelled at so much. “Miss! You wan handbag? You wan tshirt? Miss! What you look for? Miss!” Gah.
Did some other stuff in the city including the War Remnants Museum and lessened my previous ignorance on the bad stuff went down during the war. Anything I say about war will sound trite but dang. Met a Brit girl in line so I had a friend for the afternoon and had a chat over some Pho. The food here is so tasty so far. I also realized once again how much I suck with chopsticks and I’m sure the restaurant people are just loving watching me struggle so they can thank me later for the entertainment.
After dinner I had an interesting experience. I decided to get a massage by this place recommended in my book. It’s run by the blind association of HCMC so I get in there and hope they realize I’m standing at the desk. They do and I go into this big room divided up like in the movies of ‘40s war hospitals. The girl that worked on my bones was talking with whoever was working in the cubicle next door the ENTIRE hour and this was at 8 pm so who knows what they chat about all day long…? Anyway, it was money and all for $2.
Next day, My Tho & Ben Tre on the Mekong River Delta. I took a 20-min taxi to the bus station for like $7 and then paid $1.50 for a 2-hr bus to My Tho. Funny how that works here. I was the only Westerner I saw anywhere at the bus station and absolutely smoked my head on the ceiling of the bus when I got on. The floor is of course raised when you first get up the stairs… This was in addition to the minimum 3 times I ran my head into the 5 ft doorframe at my hostel. Lovely. I noticed everyone was sitting on the same side of the bus so I follow the crowd and turns out Vietnamese know which side the sun will be on for a trip and sit accordingly. These people are brilliant.
My Tho was cool but I realized on arrival I had no idea where I wanted to go. A moto guy steps in and takes me to the river where I book a boat tour around for a few hours. Once again the hotel owner setting it up tries (and succeeds somewhat) in massively ripping me off despite bartering with him for at least 20 mins. Neither my boat driver or “guide” spoke a word of English besides ‘coconut’ and ‘tip money’ so it was a long, silent ride to Unicorn and Phoenix Islands (no joke) but I like to pretend it was good for me in some meditative monk-like way or something. Turns out I was just really bored. I kid, it was cool and parts were absolutely gorgeous. Plus I got to wear a python,one of those pointy round thatched Asia hats that scream Asia, hold a honeycomb teeming with bees and eat dried ginger and little baby bananas (not plantains, I promise). What more do touristy of traps do I need in life.
Even better, the restaurant we go to for lunch has snake, iguana, turtle, eel, crocodile, in addition to the usual tamer meats on the menu. Like it ain’t no thang. Unfortunately I settled on something without parents and had veggie fried rice. The python I wore earlier lives to see another day…
K, this is not short but I only have 2 more days so bear with me.
So mini-bus trip to Can Tho after the boat tour. It was interesting cause the dude driving just stops whenever the 1st mate guy in the back sees someone that needs picking up and yells while angrily slapping the side of the van. I always like road travel here cause there are people all along the way – no open spaces along road like in Canada – and something to look at.
Case in point – a man is walking a GIANT, for real horse-size pig down the side of the road on a literal leash. Like it’s going somewhere. That’s not an exaggeration, seriously the biggest pig I’ve ever seen and he’s just trotting down the interstate on a rope. I also saw a group of guys playing volleyball on a cement court with just a rope and some threads of what used to be the net. It’s like hardcore streetball... next thing I know they’re gonna be using chains on the net for volleyball too. It would take illegally touching the net to a whole new level – touch the net? Lose a finger!
Yes, I literally played that all out in my imagination as we drove by.
We stop at a little restaurant/market for a short break and I apparently caused quite a stir cause people are staring like never before. At this point I haven’t seen a foreigner in a while, so maybe they don’t get many around these parts…? Anyway, this young kid working at the restaurant eventually works up the courage to say hello and all his friends just die. At the same time this man walks up and decides to shoot a quick drive-by pic on his phone . So I hand my camera to someone and the crew that has gathered and phone guy jump in. Meanwhile I look up and pretty much the whole marketplace is watching this little show go down. It was funny to see people react like that but so far it is always friendly and I don’t get the feeling they are staring out of anything other than curiosity. It’s a weird feeling to be the only person that looks like you anywhere nearby.
Can Tho was where I thought I’d meet my death. I get off the bus after sundown and moto guy agrees to take me to my hotel. Next thing I know, we’re driving down this shady dirt road which opens up to a platform on the water. No way out, I’m thinking. We get down there and there are some colorful characters just lingering and I’m like OH snap. What the eff is this. Right about as I picture getting chopped up to be fed to the fishies for breakfast, moto dude informs me that we gotta take the ferry over to Chau Doc. Of course! Ferry dock... Information that would’ve been useful to me 5 minutes ago while I just about peed my pants back there when you were motoring full-speed toward the water.
Can Tho was a meh city but I did another boat tour on the Mekong and visited these floating markets at Cai Rang. The boats are really interesting, most all made of wood and have eyes painted on the front so they got real swagger on the water. Tons of small long, skinny shallow boats carrying fruits & veg to the market and lots more pointy Asia hats which we all know I love. We head off the main river into smaller canals and it’s really gorgeous and peaceful with coconut palms and massive bamboo shoots shading the river. Most everyone we pass waves or smiles, or maybe smirking cause I’m alone in probably the slowest moving boat on the river... I’m not even mad about it. I’m soaking it up in NAM baby.
Last city on the agenda before I head to Cambodia is Chau Doc. Pretty non-descript but I went up Sam ‘Mountain’ which is actually a large hill where there are sweeping views of the river and surrounding rice paddies. Twas cool to see the landscape a bit from above. I decided to walk down and quickly realized these are the friendliest people I’ve met yet. Pretty much every other person says hello, especially the children.
This group of schoolboys was playing this hacky sack type game but with what kind of looks like a giant badminton birdie; same idea anyway with a weighted end and a feather. They called me over so at first I just took pictures but decided to jump in and show them my skillz. I sucked. They laughed. Alot. Good times.
So that brings us to sitting on a boat on the way to Phnom Penh, 8 hrs into the trip. There are 3 other Canadians from Halifax & Ottawa on the boat and this 21-yr old German girl that lives my dream life and has been travelling around Australia & SE Asia for the last YEAR AND A HALF. Fricken unreal. Had some good chats with the Canadians about Halloween, big chocolate bars, that rolling log driver song (look it up on YouTube, you’ll remember it I promise), and Road to Avonlea. All the Canadians out there that watched it - you know you did - throw ya hands up. Ah the bad Canadian television that binds.
So that’s what up in a nutshell. For those that were concerned (Dad I’m lookin at you), I’m still alive. This place is unbelievable and every so often I have to pinch myself and remember where I am. Only like 7 more weeks and I realized I have like absolutely NO time to see even half of what I wanna see but it’s cool. Return trips are for sure already in order. I gotta go switch boats so the novel ends… See you in a few days.
See pics on the Fbook. You know my name.